It all started with prayer after prayer whispered quietly or typed in my journal. I've tasted the burning joy of loving my Jesus with all my heart, but sometimes life gets in the way and we loose the freshness and depth of that love. I'd sensed that might be happening and I'd begged Him to do whatever it took to keep my little heart close to His.
He did. It was a simple question and it came when I was least expecting it.
"Will you say yes to being best friends with me again?"
Something inside of me clicked and I smiled. That's what I'd forgotten. Sure, we were friends. But somehow in the busyness of life I'd forgotten the part about living every single day together and loving Him more than all else.
I'd forgotten that being best friends with God is much like a marriage. It's not an optional relationship we engage in when we need it and rush on without when we're too occupied. It's about being involved in each other's life every second of everyday.
Marriage is about being involved in the beautiful and the ugly of each other's days. It's a commitment. Backing out isn't an option.
And too often I forget that very thing with the God I'd promised to be best friends with. Some days I don't really want to tell Him what's going on inside, and too often I don't. I want to keep my mess to myself and rush through my own little life in my own little way.
But this gentle reminder-- this question-- I knew what it meant. Yes is yes. Not just when I feel like. Not just when I want it.
All day. Everyday.
I smiled again and my heart beat thanks for a God who would actually ask me again.. who would actually want to be so close to me that we live in lifelong commitment to each other. I mean, He didn't have to. He could just instruct me from heaven. He didn't have to be my best Friend and get involved in the mess of my life. But He wants to.
Sun glints on my face as I look out over the hills. How can I say anything but yes? Why would I ever want to say anything but yes?
"Yes Jesus. Yes. A thousand times yes, again."
I'm reminded again though, that saying yes and living yes are two different things. It's one thing to stand on a hill at sunset and tell God again that I want to be best friends with Him every single day for all of my life. It's another thing to do it.
I remember my answer when the work starts piling on and I'm tempted to be overwhelmed and not make time to have long conversations with Him. I remember when I feel more like stuffing my heart inside and keeping it to myself and not talking to Him about every last thing. I remember when the devil kids me that I'm too much of a mess to ever be His friend. I remember, and I pause and let Him remind me He loves and cares about every detail and that's what I'm saying yes to anyway.
It strikes me that maybe this whole thing is actually pretty simple. Maybe saying yes is not only the way to become best friends but the way to stay best friends.
Yes to talk time when I think I'm too busy. Yes to opening up when I don't want to. Yes to being loved even when I don't think I deserve it.
The other thing that strikes me is how often I say no without realizing. Sure, I don't look up at His pleading eyes and shout no. But sometimes I live no. And that's the same thing.
Sometimes we make this whole Christianity thing way too complicated. Sure, it's deep and beautiful and sometimes hard. Just like marriage. But it's pretty simply really. Say yes to Love. Live yes to Love.
All week I hear the gentle question in my head when I'm frustrated or confused. "Will you say yes?" And yeah, I admit, I don't always smile and whisper it sweetly. But I'm learning. Sometimes yes hurts. Sometimes I don't even know how to say it. But every single time I do, it's sweet.
Every time I do, this journey continues. And every day it gets deeper and we get closer. That's the thing with saying yes to God. Being best friends with Him never has to end. Ever.
So yeah. I don't know where you are in your journey, but I can promise you... We can all have happily-ever-afters.
Because when He asks for our yes, He says yes Himself. And the yes of God is too great to even be reckoned with in this life.
It lasts forever.