diary of grace

Why I Am Loved More Than I Can Dream

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like for the Omnipotent God to look down at a world of hearts that are closed to Him…

David said it so profoundly…

“God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, that did seek God. Every one of them is gone back… there is none that doeth good, no, not one.”

It’s heartbreaking. And it’s so far from all that God longs to give His children.

The last couple months have shown me a side of God’s heart I had never grasped before…

We’ve all heard a million times that God is personal and the One who will always be there for us and I’ve always believed and loved that thought. But somehow, it’s only been lately that I’ve more fully realized what that really means for me.

This God of ours is not some nebulas being who loves us but is somewhat distant from our lives. He is not merely a Master. His love is not some vague concept that we cannot feel.


The Jesus I serve passionately loves me with all His heart. The thought of loosing me is so hard for Him that He would rather come to earth and give His life than watch me slip away. He’s always there for me during the day to check in and see how I’m doing. He always has an encouraging word to speak when I’m down. When I fall, He picks me back up and holds my hand. All night long He watches me sleep, eagerly awaiting the moment I wake up, so we can be together again.

And I just can’t help myself falling in love with this Jesus. He is so tangible… so personal.

It’s not a matter of trying to want to spend time with Him. I just can’t wait for it.

Nothing in the world is as sweet as the time when I can leave behind all the distractions of my day and go out to my meadow below the ridge behind our house and just be with Him. It’s not an obligation now, it’s a privilege. I want to open my heart completely to this God. To tell Him absolutely everything about me. I want to give Him total access to the deepest corners of my heart.

I want Him to look down from heaven and find my heart open to Him… all day. Every day.

And I realize more and more that all He really wants is our hearts. I mean, everything is His. He owns all... except what He wants most-- the hearts of His children.

My heart burns to give Him more. I wish I had a thousand lives to lay on the altar for Him.

But nothing puts a bigger smile on His face than when we offer Him our little wounded, dirty, broken hearts.


And this whole thing about Christianity… it’s not about trying to do all the right things and be the good people. It’s about falling deeply in love with the Jesus who it’s all about.

Christianity is not merely a matter of the mind, but a matter of the heart.

And when we open our heart up to Him, He changes it, draws it close, and makes it like His. We may not feel any closer to Him today than we did yesterday, but we can know that though we may not see, He is working. One day it will all be clear, and we’ll marvel at a grace that is as far beyond our highest dreams as heaven is above earth.

This Jesus has had you in His heart for all eternity. And when the day came for you to be born, He had the biggest smile on His face that you can imagine. The day had finally come. From now on, He could lavish His love on you, and begin the journey of winning your heart.

And all through your life, He's been on that journey. Everyday He tries to show us in a hundred little ways how deep His love is. But so often we keep our heart closed and our face turned.

He's been running after us all our lives, trying to show that He loves with all His heart and that you are the most important thing to Him in the world.

Maybe it's time to just stop running from Him, and fall in His arms and live the rest of our lives in adoration for the God who wouldn't stop seeking us, even when we were ungrateful hard hearted wretches who thought we were fine on our own.

Because this Jesus? Life is a million times sweeter with Him.

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Hannah Rayne

​22. INFJ. Lover of Jesus. Dean. Bible Teacher. Graduate of Masters of Biblical Counseling.

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